A journey from fear to fulfillment – Why I chose to carry

Growing Up on a Texas Ranch

I was raised on a ranch in south Texas, just west of interstate 35 and the intersection of several county roads that were frequently used by escapees from the nearest prison unit. Because we raised cattle that were even more frequently escapees onto the county roads, we had hardwired radios in the trucks and in our kitchen to communicate with each other and also to listen to the scanner so we could get a heads up if someone called for a deputy to deal with Brahman cows on the highway. We knew we would be getting a phone call soon after that dispatch came over the radio. We could also hear if an escapee from the prison unit or a human trafficker was racing up our county road and know whether to lock our otherwise wide open doors.

Many times my parents would be out checking fences and water supply at the ranch that was about an hour away, on the far side of that prison unit and that escape route, and I would be left at home to tend to the house animals and chores. I can count on one hand the number of times I got the call from them that they were an hour away from me and that I needed to lock all the doors and get a shotgun out of the safe for protection until they got home. But those calls began to shape my understanding that “help” in any shape and form, on a ranch outside the city limits, would not be any help until all the dust had settled in an encounter.

Getting My License to Carry

When I turned twenty-one, Daddy signed both of us up for what was then the License to Carry course. He bought me my first personal handgun and I began to navigate the difficulties of carrying off-body while still respecting the university laws preventing on-campus carry. I eventually grew so frustrated with carrying a large J-frame revolver in a purse that was not designed for concealed-carry that I gave up trying to carry. I had also conveniently married a man who was six feet and four inches tall and an all American athlete, so my feelings of needing to protect myself were somewhat diminished with a legally-bound body guard.

The School Shooting That Changed Everything

That all changed when our children became school-aged and I became employed as the Head of School at a small Christian school in rural west Texas. There were several occasions where I desperately wished our school could afford private security or that at the very least I could carry on our campus. I made several requests to the school board to allow me to carry but the resistance was strong, at least until there was an actual school shooting in our tiny town.

The tragic event was combined with several eerily timed bomb threats at the university and hospital locations. I was made aware that the primary reason we had any law enforcement presence on our campus when the rest of the town was on lock-down was because many Border Patrol agents had children enrolled in our school. Those parents made certain that their children and others were guarded, while local and county law enforcement were focused on the active scene.

The heartache and chaos of that day hit home and parents of our students and our school board finally understood the importance of having an armed teacher or administrator on campus. They approved my request to carry on campus on the condition that I get proper training.

Pursuing Professional Training

There was another deadly school shooting somewhere else soon after I was approved to carry, and an instructor my husband and his brother had taken classes from offered free training for teachers and administrators who had written approval to carry. I signed up for his first available handgun essentials class where I learned to quickly and effectively draw from concealment and put shots on target down range. A few months later I took a Shoot-house class from him with simunitions where I learned to pie doorways, clear rooms, and put shots on target in higher stress situations than just on a range.

Overcoming Fear and Intimidation

My first class was intimidating, to say the least. I was afraid of embarrassing myself, or my husband, who was top shot when he went through the academy. To reduce my anxiety, I paid for a private handgun lesson before I attended the free class, just to make sure I could hit the target. That little move gave me peace of mind to show up, but the intimidation factor of being one of two women on a firing line with twenty men required a lot more mental fortitude.

There was so much information in those three days that the common perception was that we were drinking from a fire hose. But each challenge met and each ping of the steel made me feel a little more confident that my students would at least have a fighting chance if our campus was ever threatened.

Finding My Passion and Purpose

I fell in love with shooting handguns and being challenged with new situations. While I am no longer employed by a private school, I still carry on-body and take classes whenever possible. It took the fear and magnitude of being responsible for all the lives on a small school campus to turn me into an advocate for their safety as well as my own.

Would I have pushed as hard for carrying on campus if I had not had my own three children on the same campus? Absolutely, because I believe the fastest way to stop a bad guy with a gun (or any other weapon) is a good guy or gal with a gun.

Advice for Those Considering Concealed Carry

Carrying a concealed handgun requires research, trial and error, and training. I had a rough start because I relied upon the only instructor I had known to that point… a parent who was NOT an instructor. It was an introduction, but not a very successful one. There were also far fewer resources for women to use for education and gear than there are today.

I highly encourage anyone interested in carrying a concealed handgun to take classes, do it scared if need be, but do it. I was afraid of being embarrassed on the range but I was much more afraid of being unable to protect the innocent lives in my care. Truthfully, the men on that range were so encouraging and supportive of my journey, that the camaraderie became my second favorite part of the experience. I even met the owner of a holster company who helped me pick my new set-up for on-body carry.

I went from novice to certified NRA and Texas LTC instructor in the span of two years, and now I have the privilege of being an instructor for Shoot Like a Girl.